bats, psychics, and attention whores

I'm pretty sure my cat, Ninja, is psychic.

Why do I say this, you ask?

Well, Ninja has the amazing ability to position herself directly in front of my feet any time i'm trying to walk anywhere. I attempt to step around her, and as if by some form of black magic, there her fat ass is again, directly underfoot. How, kitty, how? And more importantly, why, kitty, why? Were i a cat, i would probably spend most of my time trying not to get stepped on. But, it seems that my little angel is a freak.

Which means she fits in with the rest of the beasts in my menagerie. Not sure if that's spelled right, actually. Anywho. My animals are pretty damn odd.

Let's see, we have Guinne, a "chiweenie" (dachsund/chiuahua purebreed mix) who has ears that flare from her head like bat wings. She will stare at you until you stare back, then she'll grumble at you. If you blow in her face, she sort of talks at you, as if to say "stop that, goddammit!" She's also prone to making amorous, wild, frantic puppy-love to a particular throw pillow. Never mind that a) she's a SHE, and b) she's spayed. But, who am i to judge if my dog occasionally just needs to get a piece of sweet, sweet pillow action?

And then we have The Miau. The Empress, The Queen, Matriarch of the Animal Household. The world's most perfect feline, if i do say so myself. However, she also is a bit of an oddball. If she decides that you aren't paying enough attention to her, she will lift her mighty paw and place it on your face, whilst mewing. I believe the mewing translates to "Ahem. You will shower me with adoration and accolades now. My grandeur should make it so i don't have to tell you to worship me, you mere human, but, you seem to be exceptionally stupid. Bow to me, then pet me." Also, one thing people notice pretty quick about my lovely one is that the very tip of her tail is sorta crooked. Because Miau chews on it. Fiercely. Don't believe me? Pick her up, cradle her so she's belly up, and watch her grab her tail and chow down. Awwww. Mommy's little weirdo.

Yes indeed. I'm surrounded by bizarre creatures. In fact, at this moment, Guinne is climbing on me. I glanced in her general direction, and she took that to mean "HA HA HA HA HA TIME TO PLAY TIME TO PLAY TIME TO PLAY WHEEEEEEEEE!" I'm pretty sure her head is full of gerbils and circus music. Ninja is running at full speed back and forth from the bathroom to the living room, and Miau is surveying the scene with a dignified air. I'm pretty sure she was Audrey Hepburn in a past life.

Except i don't know that Ms Hepburn ever compulsively chewed on a part of herself. Hmm.

:-)

PS Oh right the theme. The bosoms are comfortably residing in a sturdy white bit of VS, having finally forgiven me for going for a jog yesterday without a sports bra. My bad.